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Dr. Tingling, my daughter's orthodontist, calls it a palate expander. My daughter has significant tooth crowding, owing to the fact that her mouth is too small for her permanent teeth. It's hereditary. I have a small mouth, too. (I'm holding up my middle finger to everyone who scoffed at that statement!) I was shown x-rays and photos and was assured that this apparatus would help correct the space issue. She will later need braces to coax the permanent teeth into alignment.Okay. Sounds simple.
Except that the expander is designed to literally pull apart the roof of her mouth. I was advised that it is best to do it now, before the palate fuses together. If I were to wait, surgery would be necessary to break that suture apart, then she would still need the expander. A friend of mine has a son younger than my daughter, and he had an expander installed and survived. So logic dictated to the vulcan in me that it would be best for her to get it now.
When I inquired whether this is going to be painful for my child, I was told she "might" feel some "discomfort". That is medical speak for "yes". And then he showed me how the thing works, as if that was supposed to make me feel better about it.
Apparently I am going to have to stick a key into this thing twice each day and make it exert even more force upon my child's mouth. I am to be my own child's torturer, and I am paying an orthodontist for the right to do it. I'm not sure I even have the stomach for it. Nevertheless, I sat there in that man's office with my child, and I agreed to this. I don't know how to account for my apparent lapse in good sense, though I suspect some version of the Jedi mind trick was involved.
As we get closer to her appointment, I'm having to fight the overwhelming urge to protect her from the cruelty of this world. The orthodontist is clearly a sadist who has found a way to legalize child abuse in this country. And I am clearly his flunky.
-e
I know exactly where you're coming from with this. It reminds me of when we were preparing my son's mouth for his braces and they had to pull some stubborn baby teeth. Turns out the teeth were fused to his jaw and the dentist had to twist and twist until the root broke apart from the jaw bone. Had they known this ahead of time they could have put my son out. As it was, he was awake for the whole thing. After the dental assistant "prepared" me for what he want through, my baby came out from the back room trying his best to keep a brave face. When we got into the car I told him it was okay to cry. Suddenly huge crocodile tears slid down his cheeks while his sobs were muffled by the wads of bloody gauze stuffed into his mouth. I'm teary-eyed just thinking about it!
ReplyDeleteYou have to ask yourself (as I did), is some pain now worth avoiding pain in the future? My son was going to face cracked teeth and root pain as an adult if I didn't get his mouth fixed. This helped me with the decision.
Any decent parent wishes their child can avoid pain. You want to scream, "Over here! I'll take the pain! Leave my baby alone!" like everyone is some horrible monster you must protect your child from - no matter how old they get. We just have to do our best to help them avoid most of the pain of being human.
Psychologists will tell you that there is no such thing as "maternal instinct", but there is something to be said for giving birth to another human. That human is a part of you - you made that human. When something happens to that little human it physically hurts...and then you're the one feeling pain. Any parent (especially mothers) who doesn't have this connection has something wrong with them. Call it selfishness, call it "having a screw loose", hell, call it having a cold dead heart! Just don't call yourself a human.
You, my friend, are just being human.
Alright Kay, my situation was a bit different; Kendell could not wait to get braces so anything that came before it, the habit breaker and all was just part of what he needed to deal with in order for him to reach the ultimate goal of being called brace face!
ReplyDeleteHe was so excited. I really did not have much to worry about. But before braces boy was it difficult for him to go to the dentist. We needed to go to the hospital and have him sedated, he was funny high tried to talk through everything. That was my problem, I just could not clam him down or have him understand what they were doing was suppose to be so his teeth don’t get worse. “A little pain now, so you don’t have a more later” was all I could really say.
You just have to let G know, and you believe too, that it is REALLY better now than later. Make it fun tell her when you have to tighten it that she earns a sticker for having to deal with it and that a certain amount of stickers will allow her to ……? I know it sound childish but it works and then she will remind you to do it. Then you won’t have to feel so bad. Let me know how it works out and remember for both of you SMILE! :-)
I will send a picture or two of Kendell with braces when I get home.
Shoney