Dilemma

I've got a problem.

Okay, you've got jokes...but I'm serious about this. This is keeping me up at night. (Well...that's not exactly true, since I'm up most of the night anyway.)

In case you didn't know, the NFL is kind enough to give me a spectacular birthday gift every year. It's called the start of the regular season. This year is no different in that respect, as the first Football Sunday falls on my birthday again this year.

But I'm approaching this wondrous event with a good deal of trepidation. Why? For one reason:

Randy Moss is playing for the New England Patriots.

Okay, so maybe it's not the end of the world. But it's pretty damn close. I can't stand it! This situation threatens to shatter every notion I ever thought I had about the world of football. The crux of the problem is twofold:

1) I adore Randy Moss.
2) I abhor the Patriots.

Why do I love Randy? That's easy. He's a great athlete, and he's obstinate. How could you NOT like a guy like that? (By the way, the "great athlete" part of the equation is key, lest you mere mortal men think it's okay to be obstinate. Oh, and someone explain to T.O. that the key word is "obstinate" and NOT "asinine"...and then get him a dictionary...and then read it to him 'cause I'm not too certain he knows how.)

You see, ever since I was a wee little tot I've been a Raiders fan. I think I was about three years old when I first became enamored with The Black and Silver. Madden was a coach then, not a video game. That's how long I've been a Raider fan. It's why the names Marcus Allen, Howie Long, and Rich Gannon always bring a smile to my face. It's why the words "Tuck Rule" cause my body to convulse uncontrollably for several minutes at a time. It's why I despise the Patriots. It's why I believe Bill Belichick is the devil.

Yeah...the whole satan thing is a little harsh, but it's the only thing that makes sense. First I thought Tom Brady had made a deal with the devil, on account of the whole U of M thing too. Then I realized that, with Belichick is both GM and coach. So how does a team continue to win despite releasing a string of world-class players to free agency? How does a team become the only champions in the history of the NFL ever to benefit from the Tuck Rule? You make the call.

But you're an agnostic. You don't even believe in satan.

Ah, but you are incorrect Grasshopper. My being agnostic simply means I'm not arrogant enough to believe I know definitively one way or another whether heaven or hell exists. Personally, I tend to lean toward the negative side of that argument. But Belichick, in my opinion, is the closest thing to concrete proof that the devil does exist. Well, him and G. W. Bush, to be sure. But I digress.

So, I've had to watch athletes I can't stand play on teams that I love. Romanowski, who I never liked, playing for the Raiders comes immediately to mind. And then there's Antoine Walker, who I consider a jackass, playing for the Miami Heat. That has never been a problem. I root for the team I love and hope the player I can't stand doesn't do anything stupid. (As we all know, hope didn't work very well for Romo.)

But now a player I love is on a team I hate. How do I reconcile that in my head? I want Randy to catch passes, but every football he catches benefits the Patriots. I'm not really sure I know how to handle that. Since my time is obviously running out, and I'm no closer to a solution, I'm asking for your help.

Does anyone have a solution for me? If you've been in a similar situation, how did you handle it?